Friday, 22 November 2013

lies

What is a lie?

Wikipedia dictionary says that ,' A lie is a false statement to a person or group made by another person or group who knows it is not the whole truth, intentionally.

A lie is a fabricated statement submitted as truth, without knowing for certain whether or not it actually is true.

A lie may be be a half-truth statement intended to deceive or cheat the other person.

A half truth statement or a wholly false statement intended to deceive , cheat or misrepresent truth , facts and figures constitutes a lie. A slight exaggeration too counts for a lie.

Everybody has told a lie(s) at a certain point of time  and /or phase.

Humans by birth are not prone to lie. A child is innocent as he speaks unblemished truth but as the child undergoes changes , observes the social and home environment begins with small lies. When he is successfully able to convince the other person , camouflaging the truth he gains confidence and cultivates the fine art of lying graduating to adulthood.



Why do people lie?

                                     To seek attention / be the centre of attention :

 A child to avoid going to school or day care centre complains about  an upset tummy .

A pregnant wife raves and rants of morning sickness exaggerating the symptoms to be the cynosure of the family.

                                    To hide unpleasant truth / harsh reality

A husband on getting a pink slip does not disclose the information to this wife.

A college-going youth lying about his/her whereabouts to his parents and enjoying the company of his beloved.

                                       A matter of habit 

A child may have been scolded or punished for a certain reason in childhood and he resorts to lying to escape the punishment. Continuous lying and lying to hide another lie makes the child a habitual liar.

                                        To distort facts

  
To save relationships : A cheating spouse knows the relevance and importance of the sanctity of marriage and lies to preserve it but cannot prevent oneself from straying.

                                         To avoid confrontations 

An employee on the pretext of going out to field work or meet prospectives clients may hoodwink his boss just to avoid an unpleasant confrontation . The employee in-spite of having to attend genuine personal work may refrain from telling the truth. To hide a lie , a series of lies starts accumulating.   

                                          To project a good / clean image 

A student sleeps with the lights on in his room projecting an image of a studious child.

A husband lies about the compulsion  of entertaining corporate clients while in reality he would love to guzzle beer by gallons.




Effects of lying.

when a spouse stumbles upon the truth of the other half 's fling / affair , how  does she/he feel/react?
Cheated, betrayed. keep mum, shout and scream, cry, confide in close friends, walk out of the marriage.

Can the cheating spouse be  trusted?  Probably no or never ever.

Can the wronged spouse re-build the faith ?

Will the wronged partner be able to command respect in the marriage? 

Will the relationship be the same as before?

A single lie has the vicious power to create a serious crack in the mirror of relationship. Can it be held together by the glue of forgiveness? The cracked mirror will show a distorted reflection. Can the wronged partner see one-self in the cracked mirror?

                  “I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't                                                                                          believe you.” 
                                                                ― Friedrich Nietzsche



A child steals money from the house for partying, booze or drugs or for a visit to the mall.

The child lies but is caught red-handed , can he/she be trusted even when he/she tells the truth?  The parents will always be suspicious , spy on the child or will cross-question the child.

The person who fabricates  and distorts facts will develop personality disorders as he is leading a double life. 


                            “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” 
                                                           ― Mark Twain



                                                          

From childhood , at home and school alike we are repeatedly taught to believe that 'Truth alone triumphs'.


                       A truth is bare and naked , while a lie has to be gift-wrapped. 


Readers , I would like to know your views?